Snapping Beans and Other Thoughts

This is a proven statistic, women are closer to their maternal grandmothers. In no case is this truer than the generations of women in my family. I love to hear stories told by women in my family. Those are the stories that are closest to my heart. When I feel like the world is against me, I dig those stories out and remember where my roots are buried. Tightly intertwined in the many generations of great women in my life, past and present.

This is for my mother, my grandmother, my great-grandmother, and her mother who bore her. Today I was thinking to myself, "How do traditions begin?" Where do they start and how is it that we decide they are worthy enough to pass along? In my opinion, it is because we had mothers who tortured us and made us sit and do these things with them, because they did them when they were a kid. Mostly because they know how important it is to spend every chance you can with the women who carried you, loved you, nurtured, fed you, and went through great lengths to bring you safely into this world. These are the memories that make me the mother I am today.

I have been told numerous times by my mother, and grandmother that I am a good mom. I am no where near the patient and loving mom I was 10 years ago. Tristan certainly has a different mommy than Trevor and Garrett ever had. But all my parenting skills I can attribute right back to the women who say I have a gift at parenting. All the love that I give those around me is what I was taught and witnessed all my life growing up. The reason I love so much and feel the need to care for everyone around me is something I was taught, I learned it from my mother. (It is where I got my helping spirit, when I help others and they thank me, I feel they are thanking her as well.) It is because I followed what they have taught me. Their passion and guidance is what they witness. When my mother and grandmother compliment me, they dually compliment themselves (if ever there was I a time I wanted to say something to them so badly, this would be it).

Snapping beans, my most cherished childhood memory. I have been racking my brain about things I could go back and do all over again. Snapping beans, and enjoying it. Instead of wishing I were someplace else, with someone else, what a fool I was. I would give anything to be sitting at a table, lined with old newspaper, me in one chair, my mother in the other, the quietness that was comforting, and the smell of fresh green beans, just snapping away. My heart sinks, I used to complain, my mom would tell me that she loved doing that when she was a kid, me complaining I am sure just broke her heart. I just thought you gotta be crazy, how can this be considered fun? Now I know, that was the best time I ever had, sitting there with my mom, just being in her presence and spending time with her, snapping them old green beans. "Don't snap too much off, you'll waste the whole bean." If I had a nickle for every time I heard that.

As most know I live two hours away from my mom and my grandma, the two most important women in my life. When times are hard I know I can call on them and things will be automatically better. It was the hardest move I have ever made in my entire life. It is only two hours, but it might as well be two states away, or two countries away. I get like a little kid when we go visit. I never say much, but inside I am just bursting with excitement. I just cannot wait to see her, talk, have coffee, hang out, and just know that she is near me. We should snap beans and it would be perfect. To have her in my life just makes it that more radiant.

The most important thing to me is my children, the second most important thing, my husband. I know that none of these things would be special to me if I did not know my mother's love and guidance. Where would I be? That is a question I ask often. I have no way of knowing, but I can tell you, it would not be pretty. I would not be the mother I am, the wife I am, the friend I am, the christian I am, and I would not be Traci. If I could go back and change the past, I would change the way I interacted and viewed my mom. She really had my very best interest at heart and knew everything I did not.

As I sit here on Mother's Day basking in the joy that is mine, my kids playing, or fighting, whatever they decide is fine. I will hear my mother's voice in my head, "For Mother's Day next year just get me a hotel room and a good book!" How true that is, not just because the kids are fighting nonstop, but because we do everything for everyone and nothing for us(that is not meant to be selfish). All I want is pedicure and to be with the people I love the most...I really do want (need) the pedicure.

Quotes are something that hold great significance in my life. I love a good quote, I have them posted all over my fridge. Inspiration, I use them all the time. So why would this be any different? My kids love that I pull these quotes out of thin air, I can see them rolling their eyes at me in my head right now.

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

--Washington Irving

Unconditional love, our mothers taught us that from the very beginning. The best lessons I have learned in life I learned from my mom. Some of them easy, most of them hard, all of them cherished. I love her with all that is in me. I have said it before and I will say it again, she will always be my hero. For reasons special to only me. She will always be the one that I can say without a doubt, "That is my MOM and I love HER!!!" A Mother's love is sacrifice, it is doing things beyond the call of humanity, to give someone else life and to teach them the way to go, (or to drive from Detroit to Lincoln Park, a good 20-30 minutes) with a child who just threw up on you, absolute true love). That is what I was taught, and because I am a mother, it is what I teach.

Mom, I love you, our road has been bumpy, not always perfect, it is our road nonetheless, but there will always be good times, and bad times no matter who you are. I know we have travelled this road together and because it was with you I can honestly say I am a better person. Your love and support, undying praise and encouragement have made me the person I am today, tomorrow and forever. You brought me to this place in my life and for that I have no words, except "thank you", and even that is small compared to your love and all you have done for me.

HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY!!!!! I love you!

Oddly enough, I have no pictures of just me and my mom. That is really strange to me, probably because I am the one snapping away most of the time.