Family and some thoughts too.....

I came to a new realization today and it was somewhat bittersweet. I am the mother of one teenager, one preteen being tossed into the wonderful world of hormones and mood swings (I am convinced that puberty is a mental illness we overcome later into our adult years, when we have kids that are in the throes of it), and one testy, independent three year old. As I sat and listened to my two older children bicker, the teenager and the testy puberty driven maniac, I had a flashback. This was not your ordinary flashback that you snap out of and get on with your day. Some would or could argue that this was one that has stuck with me most of today and left me pondering and searching my teenage history. I remembered driving in a car, not a big car, but not small either, nonetheless a car, a Buick Le Sabre to be exact. I was behind the driver, next to a smellier, younger version of my annoying brother, and next to him my sister who usually sided with smelly. Now mind you my brother would do anything and EVERYTHING to annoy me (mostly all it took was him touching me), so I would get mad and try to pick a fight (stick up for myself) much against my better hormonal judgement during those wonderful years (which would have been to choke the crap out of him). Now as I sat and listened to my children argue I was flash backing to those days of momentary insanity. I realize now, well a couple of things, how crazy I must have drove my mom (sorry mom....not really because you got your wish I have at least one just like me, not the ten you'd wished upon me) and secondly how much I really miss those days.

It is really something as we grow older how much we appreciate our parents and our annoying, but loving siblings. We cannot stand them when we live with them 24/7 but when we never see them we wish we could go back to those days....not really. I was remembering at supper tonight these things and I was sharing with my family my thoughts. Of course my husband agreed, as he has many siblings, my kids looked at me with that "mom you have really lost it now" gleam in their eye. It is so true though. I live here in Ann Arbor, my sister in Mount Pleasant, and my brother in Colorado. I can't just go to visit them or call them over for dinner at my house so we can reminisce. I miss the days when we were all together as a family, and we could talk and be friends, or enemies, or annoying. I guess now that I am older that is why I appreciate the holidays more, or Sunday dinner when we go to Mount Pleasant to visit, I get to be in the comfort of my family. After all these are the people that love you because they have to, no it is because they know you and love you because you are them and they are you. They are what made you who you are.

Well now that I got out my mushiness (is that a word in the dictionary??), I really feel like I owe my mom an apology for being such a HUGE pain. Sorry MOM!!! Now that I have been literally catapulted into teenage years I need to sit back and do some self inventory of what it really means to be a parent to a teenager. I know that I need patience, love, trust I could go on and on. If anyone has a good book on this I would love to know what it is!!!! Mom I love you and I am SURE that this will get worse for me before it gets better, but remember I WILL be calling you to vent.

I think I totally got off topic, but I feel a lot better.