Little Garrett.....Big Spirit

I am sitting here pondering my little Garrett. In a couple of weeks, fifteen days to be exact, I am reminded everyday as it gets closer to the big birthday, my little girl will be a whopping 12 years old. I fondly remember the time I was pregnant with her, oh what a joy it was. Whom ever said pregnancy was supposed to be wonderful and exciting never had this bundle of joy growing inside of them.



Today while I was in one of my classes I got to thinking about all that I went through to bring this happy, smiling child into the world. You see, I found out I was pregnant before Trevor was even one year old. In fact, I found out on his first birthday, happy birthday your going to be a big brother. I was a little less than overjoyed, I thought how will I tell my family I am expecting another child, with my circumstances I am sure they are going to be so excited. (I was not married, not even a glimmer of marriage anytime soon.) Well I knew for sure going I was going to be punished, in a very bad way. As luck would have it that very same night I had a pain in my right side, I was positive was going to kill me dead. I toughed it out and the next night it greeted me with a vengeance. I thought well I guess I will just make an appointment and check this baby out, and wouldn't you know it, my gall bladder of all things. Then came the punishment, BECAUSE, I was pregnant, I could not have surgery. So then began the months and months of horror and pain. I went to ten different doctors, and they all said the same thing. "This is not going to be easy, you are going to have to suffer, there is not much/nothing we can do." I endured eight months of this, going to the emergency room, going home, getting so sick I had nothing left to give, I lost so much weight, and I was tired. Oh yeah..that one year old I mentioned..I was also taking care of him, and no he did not understand, "go on now and play, mommy is really sick." In fact the sicker I got the more needy he became.

Here is the best part, the very best part. My daughter, wonderful, Miss Garrett Lynn, helped me to rediscover what I had been lacking the last 20 years of my life. On February 9, 1996 I moved to Mount Pleasant, Michigan. I moved there mostly because the pit of my life was at the very bottom, I had no other place to go. So I called my mother, who said have your stuff ready by the weekend and we will be there to move you up here. So my quest began.

I moved up on a Saturday, the next day was Sunday. The very next day was Sunday..(church)..(yikes)..that day my life changed and it changed in mighty ways. In fact, no human can affect and touch another human the way I was touched that day. Imagine me, about six and half months pregnant, a big church, a God bigger that any one of us (me or the church), and he was there, I know because, like I said, no human can work in that way, it had to be him. I left church that day different, and later on down the road I found out I was not the only person that was changed that day. I left church thinking about where my life was headed, what I had to offer my children. I could not offer them a stable home, I tried like heck to be a good mommy, I tried to be a good person. Where did that leave me????? In the hands of God, I just gave it all to him, it was the only thing I had. It was really the only thing that made sense for my children. The very next Sunday I made the decision to give my whole life to the Lord. I met friends that I will always hold dear to my heart. Friends that I still see when I go to my church in Mount Pleasant. People that loved me when I felt unlovable, people that reached out to me when I felt unreachable, people who were there when I needed a friend.

The months went on and my baby was getting bigger, my gall bladder was getting worse and my blood pressure was going up. I landed myself in the hospital a lot. ****Side note: I have the world's BEST mom, she would wake up at 3 a.m. and take me to the hospital, only to be sent home and hour later, and get up and go to work at 7 a.m., she sat by my side and never once complained about it...maybe she did, BUT NEVER to my face**** Well the day finally came and the doctor decided it was in my best interest and Garrett's that the she come out, and out she came. I called my mom, told her to get to me fast, called my sister and said, "Happy Birthday, your niece is coming into the world today!!!" At about 4:30 p.m. I was wheeled into the operating room and Garrett Lynn joined the world a month early. She was due April 24 and she was born March 27, big for a preemie, she was five pounds, six and a half ounces, so little and just precious.




I always say she came out smiling. She is still smiling. What a happy baby she was. I think she was a baby filled with the love and spirit of someone bigger than me. She is so very loving and caring. I know in my heart that I know, that I KNOW, she is going to impact people. She is very special to me for countless reasons. I sit sometimes and think what if......

What if I never moved to Mount Pleasant?? We would be heathens, walking lost and hopeless. I would have never learned to love the Lord like I do. I would have never had the opportunities like I did. Finish high school??? (I thank my gramma for that one) Probably not. Met Mark??? Since I met him at high school, I would have never known he existed. All these wonderful things that happened to me were so, because I needed help with my kids, I needed help to live. My mom brought me to a safe place for my family, helped me support two children, I had no job, she supported my kids....(what she did for me while I was in the hospital after Garrett can never be repaid, truly it was the love of a mother in full swing). I prayed for so long silent prayers knowing there was a loving God to hear them, I just did not know how much he cared until that moment in time.




So when my Garrett turns 12 in fifteen days, I will remember all the wonderful things she has helped me to learn. She truly saved my life, she helped me to get it together. Even though there was a lot of rebellion to follow I knew that I could always come back to a family that loved me.

HAPPY (early) BIRTHDAY GARRETT!!!!!!

Love,

MOM